soul rebel

art art art

Wed, 08 Mar 2006 17:49:07 GMT

art is pretty much the only thing on my mind anymore besides zach.

but thats ok, because i love both.

i found a completly empty sketch book after cleaning out all my art crap... and that reminded me of what i've been wanting to do for a while, just never got started.

whoo hoo new project.

i've wanted to have a sketchbok that i work on everyday/night.

i see things everyday that inspire me..
color and designs on shirts, clothing tags, magizines, signs... and so on.

i get alot of these fashion inspired ideas from work usually.
apparently i'm getting pretty well known at work for being "artsy" and really good with color and fashion merchandising.
our main buyer/merchandiser tells our supervisor.. " get sara, shes good at this..."
they have me work on most of the displays, windows and clothing areas.
eh.. it keeps me busy.

so anyways back to my book.
everyday/night im going to doodle something in my book. with whatever medium i want.
its going to be completely random. but fun to look at.
i'm excited.

so. school.
im deciding whether or not i want to start a symester at fccj in summer.. or if i want to wait till fall.
i really really want to work a lot.
im probably going to take a class or 2 here and there till summer.
blah i dont know.

im gonna go take pictures.

sorry live journal

Sat, 04 Mar 2006 00:38:41 GMT

dear live journal,

i really never meant to abandon you for myspace. one thing lead to another and well... i have way more friends on myspace. sorry. but i'm willing to give it a second try.
<3 basse

myspace is apparently not the place to vent.
this is what i have learned.
because everyone on myspace is entirely to fake to realise that there are real problems in this world besides being knocked off of someones top 8.

i'm in great need of a place to vent.
i need to give the boyfriend a break.

friends. fuck them anymore.
you realize who your real friends are when you drop out and notice who calls you and who doesn't.
you realize your real friends when they drop you as soon as someone "cooler" comes around.

im over two faced drama starting girls.
so over it and im not afraid to say it anymore.

girls who continue to mess around with my guy friends heads and only call me when theres alcohol involved. those girls.
they can suck it.

i've made it through the toughest part of my life so far with one good friend.
whos always been there.
even when harsh words were thrown around and when some people didn't think it would work.
zach is my best friend. he is also my boyfriend, but even before he became that he was my friend which is why we've been able to always work things out.

im tired of being there for a friend... being able to drop everything to help out a friend... a friend that won't do it in return.

i've been at an all time low lately.
injured knee preventing me from work and going out.
having to explain to people daily why im not in school and dealing with their jokes and disgusted faces.
being turned away from all my friends.

i dont even want to go to prom honestly. i dont want to be reminded of anything related to highschool. i just want to get wasted with some good friends. but the "friends" im going with only talk to me on 2 occasions..
1- hey what are you doing this weekened cuz we want to get wasted and your our last resort
or
2- myspace comment " OMG ILY TTYL"

ive had to grow up so fast these past months, and i have no problem with that because now i look at some of the people im surrounded by and i realize how immature and selfish some people are. i wonder who the hell they are going to make it real life. when they're out of highschool.. actually working to provide for themselves and not having a teacher or parent tell them what to do.
at the same time i wish i could still be so carefree.
i wish i didn't have to worry about what i have to worry about now.

how many teenagers are freaking out at the fact that they can't go to work?!

blah i dont know.. ok this was one entirely random update... but there you go live journal... i'll be returning with more bitching and moaning soon. because myspace is the happy land where nothing goes wrong and everyone owns photoshop.

Fri, 21 Oct 2005 02:33:52 GMT

i dont surf anymore

i barely paint or do anything artistic

i've gone to a tanning bed and got hair extensions

my room has been a disaster for a month straight

i've never lost so many things in my life as i lose in a day now

my mind has completely disapeared.
i am so numb sometimes it's unreal.

i just go through the motions at school... im never fully there. my mind is somewhere else.
i don't know where... but i lost it sometime in the past 2 months.

my room and car completely illistrate the thoughts in my head.
random as crap and a total mess.

my parents are probably going out of town this weekend because they are going to North Carolina to visit my gandma.
seriously...
i would give anything if homecoming wasn't this weekend, or if they would go during the week so i could go.
to get away from this place.
away from everyone. even the people i love.
and just go there and rest my mind for once.

i made these "changes" for school. but its not working.
im kicked out of my 7th period.. which i needed to graduate because i'm credits behind.
so i dont even know what that means.
i dropped AP bio to do french... which im so far behind in.

i got 3 f's, 2 A's and a B on my report card

if i keep thinking about dropping out, i need to just do it. dwelling on it isn't going to make it any easier.

i just want to somehow prove my parents wrong and maybe not disapoint them for once.

i will give anything to not feel the way i have been feeling.

o ya. i won "worst case of senioritis".
my parents weren't too proud of that either.

i am so damn bored

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 01:26:09 GMT

i still hate school and i'm still doing horrible... but somehow i'm finding my way into possibly staying longer than i thought. i keep making changes hoping they will help me... but so far nothing has.

my two motivations are my parents and my boyfriend.
both of them support me, and i can't even begin to tell how much that means to me.
i just don't want to let them down.
i hate letting people down... my parents deserve to see me walk for graduation.
so baisically i'm gonna go back to getting into trouble and stop trying like i do EVERY YEAR.
gah whatever.

hey ya so i have a boyfriend. not just a boyfriend, a best boyfriend... mix of boyfriend and best friend.
i love him.
"OMG SHES CRAZY I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE SAID THAT."
psh. i'm very independant, and when i tell someone that, I mean it. especially to him. and unfortunitly it's taken alot of shit for us to tell each other that. we both made mistakes.... and eveyone deserves second chances. and if you disagree, then fuck you.
i love being in his arms, i love seeing him, i love thinking about him.
gah. now im smiling :-)

i also love laura.
mmmk.

o ya and im trying to get rebel without a cause for senior superlatives.

Wed, 28 Sep 2005 22:57:05 GMT

they take away your drivers license if you drop out of school

i'm pissed. and sad.
im screwed to hell.

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuckufkcuckfuckcufkcufkcufkcufckcfciucfkcifucxkjgafSDG..shit

dropping out

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 19:33:04 GMT

ok i lied. kind of. im back... but with a serious matter. like... really serious.

the past month has been killing me. and i think i have finally decided...
im dropping out of school

this has been the hardest decision, i don't know if anyone can relate but if you can please feel free to share because i'd like to know that i'm not alone.

it has been on my mind since last year I just never expressed it outloud to anyone. last month i confronted my parents about the idea, and although they were kind of shocked... they fully understood.

people automatically think dropping out of school is the worst possible thing you could do.
i think the worst possible thing to do is waste time doing something that makes you miserable.

i hide it really well
i have friends who do help me forget about a lot of it, but sometimes they trigger the thought and promote me to want to drop out even more. By saying hurtful things that make me feel like shit. I joke about it often... about what a lousy student I am. Thats apart of the whole hiding it thing.

ya people hate school. duh. i know this.. i know im not the only one. i actually dont hate school... im just horrible at it. I do not see myself finishing off this year im already failing 3 classes. i have tried. believe it or not. and somehow my grades dropped evn more.

i sit in class and cry.. ive done it nearly everyday for the past 2 weeks. i cry at night. im always stressed out. i'm always tired. im a mental wreck.. i lose everything and can never find it, i can never think straight, i've gotten to the point where ive given up on nearly everything. im stressed. but i don't even have anything to be stressing over.

i'm not one of those drop outs with no life ahead of them. i actually have something i want to do. something i LOVE to do, and am so anxious to do it kills me. I'm not dropping out without a plan, and i do have a plan. After talking with my parents we've decided i will work full time to help pay for everything till i turn 18, then i will take my GED, so i will have a highschool equivilent diploma... start FCCJ in the spring... in the graphic arts program.

this is the hardest decision.... ever.
and by some weird chance i might not do it... but as of now...

after the end of this 9 weeks i will be dropping out of school.

this shit is killing me.

and on top of that. i miss him and i just want to be held in his arms all day.

Wed, 31 Aug 2005 21:58:28 GMT

im officially over lj.

no one is on here anymore.
and all i ever really do is post pictures...

sorry livejournal.

myspace has taken over.

before i leave ill give a quick update of my life...

-im out of photography and some how landed a job as teachers aide 5th period
-there is a boy and i like him alot.
-senior women are too caught in popularity contests to see who will be the president or secretary, instead of coming up with ways to help out the thousands of homeless people a few states away. and that pisses me off.
-im going to fail english again.... i can't stand it.
-i've already missed 5 days..... bad bad bad sara!
-surf contest this weekend... and no waves... of course.
-my new board.. that i ordered 2 months ago... Still hasn't come in.
-parentals might go out of town this weekend.

oktheend
i might occasioanlly post pictures...
we'll see.
adios livejournal

i'm wanted

Sun, 21 Aug 2005 19:58:26 GMT

maybe if you spelt my name without an H ill do work for you.....

Sarah,
I work for Clay Bennett Surfboards, and we are very interested in
having you do some work on a few boards for us. I know you've done
some work for Mike, but if you'd like to branch out give us a ring and
we'll see what we can do. The shop number is 246-2724, or just stop in
and talk with us in person. Thanks,
Steve
Clay Bennett Surfboards Inc.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sara: A bunch of folks from Beaches Chapel told me to check out your web site --pretty cool stuff---if your interested I would love to talk to you about doing some surfboards for my shop, but if your totally tied in with Mike I understand ----anyway let me know --your art looks great---clay bennett

ahhhh i want to.... but i know when i do... ill hate it. grrrrrrrrrrr... what to do what to do

06? ok!

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 14:12:03 GMT

i'm sure by the end of the year, everyone thats not an 06 is going to get so annoyed.
o well. oh six ok

last night i got crunk... it was so fun.. and much needed.
although i have to buy a new leash because white paint was spilt in the back of my car on my leash.
i was all for sharing what i had and making sure everyone had a good time.. and it seems like everyone did so i don't even care that the inside of my car matches the ouside now and it smells like a mix of paint , alcohol, and wet dog. ( the cooler spilt too)
i guess having one of the only cars that people can actually tailgate out of has its pros and cons.

ok ya enough talking heres the pictures....

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 23:54:35 GMT

i took this picture of my nephew cole, i thought it was kinda cool.

me doing a handstand... thought it was cool too...

i wanna drop photography and be a deans aid, but i think i have to have a good GPA. which royally screws me over because i havn't done a damn thing in photo.

my dad broke his collarbone into 4 peices and bruised his rib really bad over this weekend, he had surgery last night, and ive been spending my time taking care of him when my mom needs to go out. i want to cry everytime hes like super drugged up and holds out his hand to hold mine. it reminds me of my grandpa. sitting there so helpless just wnating to hold my hand not being able to talk. i almost cried in the hospital... just being in there upsets me. i hate it.
in conclusion, my dad has had 12 screws and a metal plate put into his shoulder, and on top of that he has to get a hernia opperation when he heals.

him.
i still love him as a friend, always have and always will. and i'm glad we're back to normal. i missed his hugs.

i still hate school.
but i'm trying.
no... really... i am.

surfing pictures

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 03:00:25 GMT

surfed again today witht he hopkins crew. took pictures. yeah. the end.

by far the cutest hopkins picture ever taken

i get bored in the water with no board....

Fri, 12 Aug 2005 23:34:00 GMT

i don't get how he tells everyone he doesn't even like her, but he tells her he does.
how does someone do that.

i don't get why all my friendswere expecting us to break up and said it was for "the good" of us.

i dont get why i still care!
i get over things so fast... why is this different.

i had fun surfing today. made me feel alot better.
i really want taco bell.
bye.

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 18:41:34 GMT

school.

ill give it 3 more weeks before i do something drastic, but if it doesn't get better quick. I'm seriously thinking of other options.

my guy friends have pretty much abandoned me, and they were all i had. thanks to quick judgement and bullshit rumors, that they are still telling people, they don't even talk to me anymore.

i don't feel like there is any need for me at school. i know i have friends.... but it seems like everytime i go to talk to one of them, they turn their back and start talking to someone else.
i suck at school. i really don't belong in it, and i want to get out.

i thought my senior year is something i would be excited about.... but i dont even care anymore. i just want out.

summer survey

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 22:10:56 GMT

last night of summer. tear tear.

a lot of crazy things happened this summer. i got to wakeboard for the first time and i am fully hooked already. I bought 2 new fish. I went to summer school and met probably the most awesome guy ever. i lost the guy i thought i wouldn't lose because people talk to much and he seeked revenge too soon. i made friends with everyone at work and i love them all. went to warped tour. went to sebastian to camp. worm's parties.... pirate parties. hopkins beach days. late night long distance phone calls when me and ann would just cry. my ice cream addiction. attempting to quit painting surfboards, but failed miserably. and the list goes on. one of the best things of summer has just happened...

bryce. not is he only cute, but he is creative and i love it! His photographs are beautiful and from pictures ive seen he looks like an awesome skater. he is way more playful, fun and caring than any guy ive ever been interested in. i love his style and i can really be me around him. i've enjoyed hanging out with him sooo much.

warped tour was SO FUN. gah me and maura had a blast and gah i don't know it was fun. from seeing all the bands, crowd surfing, being Vans groupies, getting free shit because guys thought we were hot, seeing recent ex-boyfriends girlfriend getting touchy with some guy, hanging out with the aqua east group, ...lost energy drinks, losing my sunglasses, having black feet, skipping everyone in line because chris was skating... o it was all fantastic.

alex, maura and me

carol and aubyn

chris chillin with the homies

Aqua east group

senses fail

maura wit the Vans/...Lost guys

me with the guys...

fall out boy

maura and sara glamour shots

me, maura, and jen with her moshing wound

My chemical romance

me, maura and RONALD!...... blondes rock

MXPX

Relient K

yeah for the body gaurds who caught me!

so ya, im going to see "the bruce movie tonight" anddd then i just dont know. don't call me i left my phone at bryces.
much love.
last night of summer.
in other words.... get crunk bitches

ok well..

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 17:35:50 GMT

things have been interesting the past week.
i'm moving on and thats good, although the whole situation still upsets me.

i went on a mad crazy shopping spree friday where i bought a shelf, candles, a clock, and bulletin board stuff for my room. I also bought black sketch pad, black and white charcoal and smudging sticks, and i bought a dress.
i love charcoal drawings.

today i went to the school and thank the living lord, i got my schedule and everything figured out. although I do not know my exact schedule or lunch these are the classes im taking..

eng 4
AP bio
photo 1/ photo 2
chorus
analytic geom/ psychology
french 3

i decided against Art portfolio, because i almost pulled out my hair last year because mrs. hardaker is by far the worst art teacher ever.
whatever lunch AP bio has is the lunch i will be in because its a 4th period class.

and OMGGUESSWHAT.
i got a senoir parking pass
although i am still not considered a senoir at fletcher high.

i've also been recruited to design the website for mrs. wessels AP bio class.
go me.
all the guys upstairs at aqua east want their boards painted by me.
go me.

well, im hoping to have a hopkins girls night out soon because it is much needed.
and i want everyone to leave him alone. i really don't want this to get worse.

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 05:07:42 GMT

wow.
didnt think he'd ever do that to me.
ever.

i'm single.

sayin dammit man

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 03:02:43 GMT

orientation is tomorrow and i'm prepared to be extremely stressed out because i know fletcher and how dis-fucking-organized it is. i know my transcripts have probably not even been looked at and im probably a junior still. gah o well. we'll see.

i hung out with a new crew last night. they're not as sweet as hopkins, but they're cool. :-)

today me and hanna went to a wakeboard demo held by aqua east. i had a blast!! i was up on my 3rd try and im very proud. it was soooo fun. its definitly on my list of things to do again before i die.... along with white water kayaking.

denis wake skating

one of my supervisors...

me figuring out how the hell i ride something attatched to me feet

chillin...

im up :-D

Gramm... who is flippin AMAZING

attention

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 02:56:07 GMT

hey..

ummm...
ya so...
uh
ok.

oyabytheway...

I'm officially a senior.

thanks everyone who motivated me. :-D hopkins crew and thensome.
now we gotta get me through this year.

you're the boss

Mon, 18 Jul 2005 03:07:44 GMT

i'm a horrible student... but sometimes it's funny
after writing a 1880 word autobiography i decided to write my rough draft.
this is what i wrote instead.
it's quite clever. and im sure everyone will agree...

and yes, duh i'm turning it in.
fuck summer school.

Fri, 15 Jul 2005 20:04:28 GMT

you know it really sucks when you don't know if your a junior or senior

well.
i did get a parking spot as a junoir.

my schedule is beyond a disaster.
hopefully i can get through the first week of school without pulling out all my hair and slitting my wrists because its going to be madness trying to get this schedule straightened out and having me under the title of "senior"

and you know what scares me.

i don't think i passed summer school.
i missed one assignment and my grade is D.
I have to have an A or B.

i'm pretty much going to be a nervous wreck till the end of summer.

i.hate.this.

the girl that all the guys want to dance with

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 02:28:58 GMT

freakin ya.
so i've been a pretty happy person lately.
i thought with school and work and everything i would pretty much hate life for a good month.
school is actually fun.
OHMYGAH... ya i said it..... miss " i-never-went-to-school-so-im-making-it -up-in-the-summer"
foundation is a trip. the people there are idiots and its hilarious to try to see the teacher have an intelectual discussion.
I've made friends with some neat people though.
"neat"... what a crapy adjective.
let me rephrase...
I've made friends with some freakin sick ass mother fuckers.
see this english class is helping me!

work is fun too.
emily has lightened up.
i won a watch for selling a lot of watches or something like that.
i put in my order for my new board :-D!!!!!!!!!!!!

i updated my art website. whoo hoo. Sarabasse.com
I told myslef I am strictly over painting surfboards.....
but its so hard to quit.
I love it, but i hate it.
plus i think in the past 3 days i've had offers for easily 10 jobs. gah.
ya clay bennett asked me to paint for him, but i said IM DONE
ya. right.

i havnt been hopkinsing.. i think thats due to shitty weather.. and school.... and work... and lack of waves.

this entry is long enough. kbye.

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 03:53:41 GMT

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 18:05:19 GMT

i got my senoir pictures today...

and i have to say im pretty dissapointed.
theres some cute pictures but i think cady and cady studios sucks.

our past 2 yearbooks have made everone appear to have bad hygine and sunrburnt.

i think their lighting sucks.
i think their editing sucks.
i think the way to do stuff sucks.
i think them forcing to make my smile with my teeth sucks.
i think their prices are rediculous.
i think they should have spent more time and offered a few more poses.
i think the fact that the glued in my pictures so i can't scan them and make illegal copies sucks.

thats it. Basse and Basse Studios will be opening next year with PROFESSIONAL photographs and service.
AND i'll throw in free wallets with every photo session.
take that CADY!
i'll post pictures later.

Wed, 06 Jul 2005 00:49:23 GMT

what if i dropped out of school.

i'm sitting here, tuesday night while everyone else is partying, trying to write freakin 3 reports and fucking book analysis shit on a book that i didn't know i had to read.

I'm sitting here thinking... what if i don't do it......... i can't do this......... ...why the fuck do i need to do this

this is just a reminder of the past 3 years and how close i came to failing.. and eventually did end up failing.... and a preview of how im going to be miserable my senoir year because i have this issue where i just can't do work.
it's not that i get majorly distracted.. it's just i get in this mind set where i can't do anything.
or i think to myself.... next time...
i've clearly demonstrated that next time never comes and i end up in summer school and half my paychecks payin for it.

i don't want to quit. i've never quit. I always want to push myself and get shit over with. but i've gotten to the point that i get flat out miserable.

i feel like the second i quit i will lose alot of friends and people will think really bad of me.

how is it all my friends can do this...
but its so damn hard for me

ARRR MATEY

Mon, 04 Jul 2005 17:20:04 GMT

welllllll here you go people.. i know you've been waiting. they're also on the Hopkins site

pirate and pirettes party. and the mermaid.
located at the basse household.

random pictures from last night

today is the 4th of july. im getting crunk tonight. then going to summer school tomorrow.
i have a 3 page report to write right now so lata bitches.

farewell joanna... hope you had a fun jax beach experience